Not as bad as this clown

"The Duct Tape" bandit. What an idiot. I guess he's never felt the pain of ripping an extremely large patch of hair out via tape, but he soon will. He attempted to rob a liquor store in this get up and when the worker tackled him he claimed they had the wrong guy. Again, what an idiot.

Last night, I had some dumb moments, but nothing even close to our above guest. I hooked up with Aggro Jo, Dick Racer, and Ricky Bobby for "Wednesday night with the Retards" at SIUE. We rolled out at 5pm and by 5:30pm, I had done 1 endo following a bad log jump and then snapped my chain trying to climb over some logs. All patched and ready to rock on, I flatted another 30 minutes later. The night was nothing extreme, but a good deal of smack talk and some good flowing and tempo riding. We headed onto campus to chill a little and watch Bobby clear a good 2 foot hop up while Dick tossed a tube into his tubeless, but flat, rear tire.

Back in the trail, I took a body slam while cruising along with Aggro and Bobby which left me a little dazed and confused. (More than normal.) The culprit was a small tree limb hiding in the shadows of some trailside plants. The limb grabbed my right pedal like an arresting cable on an aircraft carrier. Dusted off and vision cleared, we rolled on to our final obstacle of the night, a large log jump, which Bobby cleared in "Big Stud" fashion. I wish we had pics, because it was proper in every way.

All in 22 miles, 106 degree heat, in roughly 2 1/2 hours with 2 real hours of riding time. It does seem appropriate to count the real riding time because with this group, there's a lot of time spent jumping stuff multiple times, pretending to be Hans Rey, or sitting around talking smack while the rookie fat guy pieces his chain back together, fixes a flat, or dusts himself off from stupid mistakes. Albeit, mistakes not as stupid as wrapping his head in duct tape.